Celtichell696

since i already know no one ever reads these im just venting some feelings because i have no where else i can vent and not be made fun of or be called an attention whore because i have feelings but any ways i finnally got myself a job and out of nowhere my ex starts talking to me again and it made me think about myself and what i want to do with my life and i honestly dont know at first i thought i was over her but as soon as she contacted me i ... i just dont know i want her to be happy but i also want to be happy and im so awkward as is i dont even know where to try and meet anyone new cause really before we were dating me and her were best

As i am typing this out my brain and heart ar at war with each other and I dont know what to do.I feel broken and vulnerable but im too afraid to show it to anyone I personally know because every time I start venting to a person i just get blown off or made fun of I know that I shouldnt have a problem dealing with a break up but i just can't help it I feel like im the only 20 year old man who wants a serious relationship and i want to get my own family for me to take care of and love but every time i get into a realtion ship i always end up broken down and picking up the pieces of my broken heart my family expects me to just be able to go fro